Site updated Dec 2021
This is the permanent website of
Stan, of New Zealand / Aotearoa
_______________________________
.
* * * Welcome * * *
_______________________________
This is the permanent website of
Stan, of New Zealand / Aotearoa
_______________________________
.
* * * Welcome * * *
_______________________________
On this site, you will learn about me the person, and...
my ordinary and not-so-ordinary hobbies and interests.
Yes, I was a professional electronics technician for decades, working at a variety f Hi-Tech jobs around the country over a 45 year career. Now retired, and maybe no longer at the leading edge of technology ~ and happy with it.
I tinker with 'old' solid-state technology. It still does what I want, so...
my ordinary and not-so-ordinary hobbies and interests.
Yes, I was a professional electronics technician for decades, working at a variety f Hi-Tech jobs around the country over a 45 year career. Now retired, and maybe no longer at the leading edge of technology ~ and happy with it.
I tinker with 'old' solid-state technology. It still does what I want, so...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
For TRAVEL PICS and UNUSUAL ADVENTURES, use the PAGE LINKS BELOW.
My Peru Pics are HERE
Projects in Electrotherapy ~ My Pages of Alternative Approach to Health are HERE
My Essays and Musings Pages are HERE
Weird Stuff, the Quirky Ideas are HERE
My Peru Pics are HERE
Projects in Electrotherapy ~ My Pages of Alternative Approach to Health are HERE
My Essays and Musings Pages are HERE
Weird Stuff, the Quirky Ideas are HERE
.
Feel free to browse the website, remember to scroll down this page and read some anecdotes about Stan ~ I am quite nerdy I suppose. Then if you want, email me at [email protected] and we can talk some more about the things you see here that interest you.
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~ ~ ~ Interesting Anecdotes Below ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ Interesting Anecdotes Below ~ ~ ~
Some of Stan's Training in the "University" of Life
(decades before I made it to a real university).
***Experiences from life, in confidence and sociability, acquired over 70 years***
THE SEARCH FOR CONFIDENCE and the MEANING OF BEING SOCIAL
I always found it fascinating to observe people from all walks of life from differing viewpoints, and equally fascinating was to see how other people observed myself in those different situations.
For example, when I wore a suit and hung around the door at meetings I attended, I was invariably treated as one of the organizers of ... whatever the meeting was about! Something in my stance or body language was telling fellow guests that I was something more than a mere attendee exactly the same as them – and yet in truth that was all I was, an attendee the same as them. I would deliberately carry myself as though I knew everything the meeting was about, nobody realized it was a bluff on my part to cover what I thought at the time was a natural shyness on my part. It took me a while to realize what a powerful tool just "looking right" is. "Looking right" can get you offers and opportunities which might otherwise pass you by.
In my case as a self-perceived shy introvert, as well as for most other people, dress code is a worthwhile tool to make headway in this world.
On the other hand, when I dressed down I usually couldn't get anybody to take any notice of me, unless I deliberately used another effective social "tool"…
The following story demonstrates:
A Social Experiment: There are factors other than dress code in the great story of how people in social settings react with each other. Sometimes in my life, my sense of humour would come to the fore in a social situation: about 40 years ago, in New Zealand where I live, I was one of many intercity bus passengers who arrived in a city bus terminal late on a Sunday night after a journey of several hours. I had already noticed that the nearby (and darkened) taxi stand had a few cars in it, and not all were taxis I should add, and none were showing any "for hire" lights anyway. In any event their drivers were nowhere to be seen.
I wondered how observant my fellow passengers had been as we pulled in to the bus terminal, that there were actually no taxis available for hire right then. I had already learned from life that humans often acted like sheep, following one another sometimes for no reason at all. The situation was perfect to perform a social experiment, and have a bit of harmless fun.
I quickly alighted from the bus, grabbed my suitcase, and tried to be just a part of the crowd until a number of passengers had picked up their own luggage and had begun to look around. That was my cue to hold my head high and confidently, and purposefully stride towards the darkened taxi stand with the unlit empty cars. And so help me, all the bus passengers followed me even though it was plain to see that nobody was going anywhere in those driverless cars at that late hour…
The interesting part about that little experiment in self-confidence at the bus station is that I was dressed very casually and not so cleanly. I had been helping a friend fix his car right up until the start of the bus journey, so I was a little tousled and my "eau de cologne" was probably along the lines of used sump oil. It had to be my body language alone that had the crowd literally right behind me.
By simply reading this far, you have already been introduced to three tools of how to show confidence, whether real or faked, that you know what you are doing:
The first tool is dress code, in spite of the story I have just recounted – pretty much all the time, your appropriate dress sense will be reflected in how others perceive your own self-respect and self-confidence, again whether or not you really feel that way on the inside.
The second tool is stance or body language – by your actions and how you hold yourself, tells others that you clearly and confidently know the way everybody should be going, and by golly they will often follow your example.
The third tool of confidence? Your own secret knowledge that you can PORTRAY self-confidence and/or self-respect, and have it perceived by others as being a "real" part of your nature (whether you really and truly have such confidence and self-respect at the time or not).
Key Tool: This third tool is the key one for the shy or introverted person who wants to change his/her life for the better. It is well paraphrased for you, Dear Reader: It is the AWARENESS in your mind that you can show a convincing APPEARANCE of confidence in social situations. Then other people will see your feigned confidence and in general they won't know that you are only "pretending" to be confident, and they will give you the same deference they give any other adequately confident person in their/your peer group.
OK, you alone may secretly "know" that you are only "pretending" to exude all the necessary self-confidence to carry you through the various hard situations which life seems to throw at shy and introverted people. But the wonderful part is the pretence doesn't last – after a while you will forget you are only pretending and your confidence in social situations will have become as real to you as anything else you do or feel in your life. It will have become a habit like any other habit you have - ie. you do it well without having to consciously work at it.
I did many strange and fun things over the years, as my own introversion and shyness fought long but losing battles against my strong desire to be a meaningful part of my world.
A Second, Fun, Experiment: This is a small story from a time when I was feeling reasonably self-assured (and that feeling was probably sustained by my success in matters of technological expertise – I was a whizzkid with electronics back then. Unfortunately back then, in business matters I had some more to learn, my business had just gone bust and I was working for a boss at the time of this story).
One morning tea time at my workplace, I decided to see just how observant my workmates were at close quarters in a well-lit "smoko" room. I tarried a little making my hot coffee, to make sure that I was one of the last to sit at the one big table where we all drank our cups of tea or coffee. My experiment, I knew, could only possibly last a very few minutes, so I wanted all my "audience" ready and watching me closely right from the start of the experiment.
What everybody "saw" me do: I carried my drink to the table and sat down, stirring it as I spoke on a very interesting item of current news. I had some opinions to share and asked a number of people for their own opinions, responding to them with cheerful conversation as I continued to absently stir my coffee, as one does perfectly naturally when one is engrossed in conversation around a table. I was the centre of attention, and naturally, people were looking at me. Nobody noticed anything out of the ordinary.
What was really happening: Oh, I was stirring my coffee all right, but it wasn't with a spoon, it was with a chocolate bar which I was handling exactly like a spoon, sometimes briefly stopping my stirring while I made or heard a particularly interesting point in our group conversation, sometimes half-removing the "spoon" from the cup and then putting it back in and continuing to stir – all completely ordinary "subconscious" reactions with the "spoon" on my part.
I began to wonder whether the chocolate would melt completely away from my warm fingers and into the hot coffee before any-one noticed my Oscar-winning acting performance! It was close, but finally, after a solid minute or two, a man from the far end of the table began to open and shut his mouth as he stared at my stirring hand, now holding a somewhat soggy piece of chocolate. His response was classic, staring, finger pointing, mouth flapping open and closed, saying "hey….hey…..hey" in disbelief! He actually didn't want to say in front of everybody "You are stirring your coffee with chocolate" because (as he confirmed later) it would have sounded so stupid and he was afraid people would laugh at him. At him!!?
So what does that story prove? Well, probably that I might be a little nuts (may I never change...), but mostly it shows that, even if you are pretending desperately to fit into a situation and you think you are doing shockingly badly at the task, your opinion is probably wrong and you will probably get away with it! Many people simply don't consciously notice a lot of detail in what they consider to be a typical social situation.
And, of course, far from being silly like me with the chocolate bar, if you are a shy or introverted person who is trying hard, you will have prepared yourself as sensibly as possible for the social situation. On that basis, chances are excellent you will do OK.
So what is stopping the shy and introverted readers of this story from starting to pretend their way into a position of equal confidence and respect within their own peer group? I can safely assure the shy readers, that the supposed huge stuff-ups you think you are making in your attempts to fit in as an equal, are going to be largely un-noticed. People don't notice a lot of detail and they are tolerant too, especially if you are also displaying self-confidence. You will do OK.
And as Yoda the Jedi Master says, "Do,.or do not. There is no try."
(decades before I made it to a real university).
***Experiences from life, in confidence and sociability, acquired over 70 years***
THE SEARCH FOR CONFIDENCE and the MEANING OF BEING SOCIAL
I always found it fascinating to observe people from all walks of life from differing viewpoints, and equally fascinating was to see how other people observed myself in those different situations.
For example, when I wore a suit and hung around the door at meetings I attended, I was invariably treated as one of the organizers of ... whatever the meeting was about! Something in my stance or body language was telling fellow guests that I was something more than a mere attendee exactly the same as them – and yet in truth that was all I was, an attendee the same as them. I would deliberately carry myself as though I knew everything the meeting was about, nobody realized it was a bluff on my part to cover what I thought at the time was a natural shyness on my part. It took me a while to realize what a powerful tool just "looking right" is. "Looking right" can get you offers and opportunities which might otherwise pass you by.
In my case as a self-perceived shy introvert, as well as for most other people, dress code is a worthwhile tool to make headway in this world.
On the other hand, when I dressed down I usually couldn't get anybody to take any notice of me, unless I deliberately used another effective social "tool"…
The following story demonstrates:
A Social Experiment: There are factors other than dress code in the great story of how people in social settings react with each other. Sometimes in my life, my sense of humour would come to the fore in a social situation: about 40 years ago, in New Zealand where I live, I was one of many intercity bus passengers who arrived in a city bus terminal late on a Sunday night after a journey of several hours. I had already noticed that the nearby (and darkened) taxi stand had a few cars in it, and not all were taxis I should add, and none were showing any "for hire" lights anyway. In any event their drivers were nowhere to be seen.
I wondered how observant my fellow passengers had been as we pulled in to the bus terminal, that there were actually no taxis available for hire right then. I had already learned from life that humans often acted like sheep, following one another sometimes for no reason at all. The situation was perfect to perform a social experiment, and have a bit of harmless fun.
I quickly alighted from the bus, grabbed my suitcase, and tried to be just a part of the crowd until a number of passengers had picked up their own luggage and had begun to look around. That was my cue to hold my head high and confidently, and purposefully stride towards the darkened taxi stand with the unlit empty cars. And so help me, all the bus passengers followed me even though it was plain to see that nobody was going anywhere in those driverless cars at that late hour…
The interesting part about that little experiment in self-confidence at the bus station is that I was dressed very casually and not so cleanly. I had been helping a friend fix his car right up until the start of the bus journey, so I was a little tousled and my "eau de cologne" was probably along the lines of used sump oil. It had to be my body language alone that had the crowd literally right behind me.
By simply reading this far, you have already been introduced to three tools of how to show confidence, whether real or faked, that you know what you are doing:
The first tool is dress code, in spite of the story I have just recounted – pretty much all the time, your appropriate dress sense will be reflected in how others perceive your own self-respect and self-confidence, again whether or not you really feel that way on the inside.
The second tool is stance or body language – by your actions and how you hold yourself, tells others that you clearly and confidently know the way everybody should be going, and by golly they will often follow your example.
The third tool of confidence? Your own secret knowledge that you can PORTRAY self-confidence and/or self-respect, and have it perceived by others as being a "real" part of your nature (whether you really and truly have such confidence and self-respect at the time or not).
Key Tool: This third tool is the key one for the shy or introverted person who wants to change his/her life for the better. It is well paraphrased for you, Dear Reader: It is the AWARENESS in your mind that you can show a convincing APPEARANCE of confidence in social situations. Then other people will see your feigned confidence and in general they won't know that you are only "pretending" to be confident, and they will give you the same deference they give any other adequately confident person in their/your peer group.
OK, you alone may secretly "know" that you are only "pretending" to exude all the necessary self-confidence to carry you through the various hard situations which life seems to throw at shy and introverted people. But the wonderful part is the pretence doesn't last – after a while you will forget you are only pretending and your confidence in social situations will have become as real to you as anything else you do or feel in your life. It will have become a habit like any other habit you have - ie. you do it well without having to consciously work at it.
I did many strange and fun things over the years, as my own introversion and shyness fought long but losing battles against my strong desire to be a meaningful part of my world.
A Second, Fun, Experiment: This is a small story from a time when I was feeling reasonably self-assured (and that feeling was probably sustained by my success in matters of technological expertise – I was a whizzkid with electronics back then. Unfortunately back then, in business matters I had some more to learn, my business had just gone bust and I was working for a boss at the time of this story).
One morning tea time at my workplace, I decided to see just how observant my workmates were at close quarters in a well-lit "smoko" room. I tarried a little making my hot coffee, to make sure that I was one of the last to sit at the one big table where we all drank our cups of tea or coffee. My experiment, I knew, could only possibly last a very few minutes, so I wanted all my "audience" ready and watching me closely right from the start of the experiment.
What everybody "saw" me do: I carried my drink to the table and sat down, stirring it as I spoke on a very interesting item of current news. I had some opinions to share and asked a number of people for their own opinions, responding to them with cheerful conversation as I continued to absently stir my coffee, as one does perfectly naturally when one is engrossed in conversation around a table. I was the centre of attention, and naturally, people were looking at me. Nobody noticed anything out of the ordinary.
What was really happening: Oh, I was stirring my coffee all right, but it wasn't with a spoon, it was with a chocolate bar which I was handling exactly like a spoon, sometimes briefly stopping my stirring while I made or heard a particularly interesting point in our group conversation, sometimes half-removing the "spoon" from the cup and then putting it back in and continuing to stir – all completely ordinary "subconscious" reactions with the "spoon" on my part.
I began to wonder whether the chocolate would melt completely away from my warm fingers and into the hot coffee before any-one noticed my Oscar-winning acting performance! It was close, but finally, after a solid minute or two, a man from the far end of the table began to open and shut his mouth as he stared at my stirring hand, now holding a somewhat soggy piece of chocolate. His response was classic, staring, finger pointing, mouth flapping open and closed, saying "hey….hey…..hey" in disbelief! He actually didn't want to say in front of everybody "You are stirring your coffee with chocolate" because (as he confirmed later) it would have sounded so stupid and he was afraid people would laugh at him. At him!!?
So what does that story prove? Well, probably that I might be a little nuts (may I never change...), but mostly it shows that, even if you are pretending desperately to fit into a situation and you think you are doing shockingly badly at the task, your opinion is probably wrong and you will probably get away with it! Many people simply don't consciously notice a lot of detail in what they consider to be a typical social situation.
And, of course, far from being silly like me with the chocolate bar, if you are a shy or introverted person who is trying hard, you will have prepared yourself as sensibly as possible for the social situation. On that basis, chances are excellent you will do OK.
So what is stopping the shy and introverted readers of this story from starting to pretend their way into a position of equal confidence and respect within their own peer group? I can safely assure the shy readers, that the supposed huge stuff-ups you think you are making in your attempts to fit in as an equal, are going to be largely un-noticed. People don't notice a lot of detail and they are tolerant too, especially if you are also displaying self-confidence. You will do OK.
And as Yoda the Jedi Master says, "Do,.or do not. There is no try."